September 19, 2012

Living With Fibromyalgia

When I first started this blog I was unsure if I should even mention FMS. Then I decided that I would be doing a disservice to other sufferers and that I should at least get the word out about it. Now I find myself dealing with a string of bad days. I have always tried not to let FMS get in the way of certain things in my life even though there are other aspects that I can't control. I let a well tended house go down the drain. I have tried to make peace with that. I just simple cannot keep up with the housework anymore. Vacuuming alone can send me to the bed in agony.

When I started sewing it was definitely a sort of therapy for me. Here is something that I can do and feel as if I am actually accomplishing something! So, I decided to try my best not to let FMS come between me and my sewing.

Well, that was until this week, for the most part.

Sunday started with a migraine. I was able to get it under control until Sunday evening.

Monday started with a migraine.  Then shortly after noon it was added to by a toothache.

Same thing on Tuesday.

Here we are at Wednesday and I am still dealing with a toothache while playing tag with the migraines.

On top of all of that I have the "regular" pain of living every day with FMS. My neck, shoulders, back, hips... And that is as long as I don't aggravate some other part of my body! Then add in the bone weary fatigue.

So, I have gotten NOTHING accomplished this week. We are doing school but even there I am falling behind with what I WANT to do. We are getting the basics done, so that's good. But the fun stuff has been put to the side because I just don't have the strength and energy to deal with it while dealing with all this other crap.

I have so much that I want to do this week!! Lord, please give me the patience to deal with all of this. Help me to know that it's OK if I can't live up to my "time frame". The stuff that I want to do will still be there waiting when I feel better. It's OK to forgive myself if I don't accomplish everything I set out to do.

Here is my list:

Sewing-

More Bags of Hope and Love

Pattern testing

Shorts for Liam

Presents for friends

Items to sell

Homeschool-

Finish putting together the Rome lapbook

Start our new science projects

Start our art and music lessons

Start art and crafts

Housework-

TRY to shampoo the carpets - I used to shampoo my carpets every other week. I haven't been able to that since January. And since February they have only been shampooed 3 times. WOW, I hated admitting that! LOL But I have to keep it real! Carpets are the bane of my existence. LOL I HATE THEM!!! They are a light wheat color... in a house with 5 kids.... Yeah....

Plus, there has been another little added stress.... We are contemplating a BIG move. The Hubby has been offered an exceptional job in another state. While this is something that is MUCH needed I reallllllllly don't want to move! I LOVE it here!! I love my church! I love my church family! It has taken me my entire adult life to find a church that feels like "home". I feel just at home there as I always did at the church I grew up in. That means SO much to me. I can't imagine having to leave that. But it's all in God's hands. And I will pray for and follow His will. I have to remember that I can only see today. HE can see forever.

I promise, this is not a pity party. LOL I am not feeling sorry for myself, just aggravated that I can't seem to do all that I want to do.  I am aggravated that I just can't get up and kick FMS to the curb! LOL I want to be my old self in the sense that I could take care of and manage everything in my house. But sometimes I have to wonder if that is why I am where I am today. Maybe this is what happens if you push yourself too much for too long? I don't know.

I have to stop myself from getting angry about it. Not the "why me" angry, but the why can't I get past this angry. Why does this thing have so much control over what I can and can't do?? That's where the anger comes from. And I am just so tired of being tired.

Yesterday after taking The Hubby to work I took a pain pill and went to sleep for a few hours. Then I just sort of stayed in bed until I had to pick him up at 2am. Colin came in to keep me company from time to time. Unfortunately today is looking like it might be another one of those days. I have one pain pill left..... Praying that this toothache is over by tomorrow...... I hate feeling like entire days have gone to waist. But I can't seem to function properly under ALL of this crud.

SHEW! I have this migraine under control again. Now if only the tooth would behave.

So, this is why I have been quiet since the wee hours of Monday morning when I last posted.

Sorry this has been so depressing.

Here, hopefully this can lift all up! ;)





And since today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day!







All the photos above have the credits listed on them. ;)




30 comments:

  1. Stacy, You have been doing so well and so much I am so Proud of You. Now is the time to listen to your body, slow down relax. The Migraines are part of this. Don't push yourself so much, let your body tell you what will be what at these times. We have to or we can and will get worse. Yes you are going to be going over in your head , what you should be doing etc.... That means you are human. Take it easy on yourself. For Your Families sake and yours. You can and will get through this Flare Up and resume doing activities. Our Lives are designed by this Fibro. We have to say enough and take downtime to let body work through the Flareups.

    You are a Wonderful Woman. Take this Compliment and Smile You really are so Wonderful, and do so much for others!!

    HUgssssssssss

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  2. I know the pain your in. I hate dealing with my fibro. I hate being tired all the time, I hate forgetting things. My house is a disaster most days. And Hubby is all What do you do all day? Really? I hurt, it's a battle to even get out of the bed most mornings, and my pain meds don't work unless making me sick counts. What different state ya thinking about?

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  3. THANK YOU!!! SOOOOOO MUCH!!! You are always such an inspiration to me!!!! I don't know what I would do without you!!!!
    HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!!!!!

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  4. HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!
    Yep, the meds only do so much. SIGH.... and GRRR!!!
    And yep, my house always looks like a tornado went through followed by a hurricane! :(
    We are thinking about GA, near Savannah. DEEEEP south. LOL The company really wants him there but they are giving him the choice of three plants, GA, AL and LA.

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  5. Hang in their sweetie. You know the pain won't stay this strength forever, but I also know that knowledge doesn't help at this time. Don't sweat the house. I hadn't vacuumed my house in months. And when it was vaccumed, some female church members did it since it would have swept me right off my feet. I'm here for you to hold you up when you can't do it for yourself for awhile.

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  6. Thank you SOOOOOOO much, Lori!!
    One second at a time... LOL

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  7. No stinking kidding. I say its nap time. We should go take naps. lol

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  8. LOL! I wish!!! But in an hour I am soooooo napping!! ;))

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  9. Ok....I'll probably still be there. ;)

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  10. Stacy, I am soooo sorry you are having so much trouble with your fibro right now.And a stinking tooth ache to boot..How terrible. God is with you, and when He sends signs that you have been over doing..It's time to step back and rest.. As a wife and mama ,that is a very difficult thing to do. We want that June Clever spotless house and meals on time, and schooling done perfectly..But, your sick, and you can't do it.. So, go to bed. don't worry about the house [because every persons house gets in that situtation, when we are sick].It's ok..Take care of Stacy first. I am going to our Heavenly Father ,as soon as I get off here, and will continue to pray for you.
    I am also praying for your husbands new job offer. I know that leaving your church is soooooo hard. But remember , God let you find this church and He will take care of you, and He can send you to another , that will be like home too. Try not to stress, thats not good on the fibro either.
    Stacy, you know I was in the hospital last week.Well, I have severe asthma. And it flared up about 9 wks ago.. I battled it week after week and it only got worse, The doctors couldnt understand why I wasn't getting well. I was so depressed. I couldn't sew, I couldnt do anything.
    But, God was there and for whatever reason.. it was my worse and longest bout since coming down with it when I was 33 yrs old..
    As for sewing.. Girl ...you have been a sewing machine.Faster and sewing more than any of us..It's ok to slow down..The fabric and the sewing machine ,will sit quietly and wait until you feel better..It's ok.
    What I am trying to say Stacy is: You are a fantastic person, I can feel God in you, and I want you to know , I care and am sending prayers.. Take care of Stacy...

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  11. Oh, Judy! Thank you so much! That is just what I needed to hear!!!
    THANK YOU!!!
    I need the prayers!!!!!
    I am still praying for you, too!!!!!!

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  12. yay!!! I'm late. Trying to clean up some last minute posts. :( Uncool!

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  13. Back at ya! I never made it! I hope you were able to. But I don't have little ones to oversee, so I pretty much do whatever. Hmmmm........putting it that way I might get use to this. ;)

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  14. Nope.... I haven't made it yet it, either.... LOL

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  15. Hey, sweetie. This sure is one of those valleys. I don't have fms, but I do know about illness and the so called syndromes which can make life such a challenge. I am agreeing with Judy in prayer for you and will lift you up in Bible study tonight. Your priorities are in line and with Christ we sisters in faith can do much. God bless and have a good night.

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  16. We're pathetic. Did you see I sent you a message at PBS?

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  17. Thank you, Regena! That means so much to me!!!
    I am so blessed to have such great ladies behind me in prayer!!!

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  18. LOL! Yep! I sent you one back.
    Still no nap here but not from lack of trying.....

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  19. Stacy, thank you for sharing your testimony and your gorgeous talent with sewing. God is awesome. God's loving presence with constant loving care and provisions. Our daughter was diagnosed with multiplescelrosis on her 20th birthday and my loving mom a few months later was diagnosed with ahlzheimers. God has blessed mom recently with Hospice care and is calling mom home. We have been so richly blessed with our daughter...Julie Ann is now 38 years old. Daily challenges...God's love and faithfullness never changes or falters. Stacy, we all look forward to your emails. Please do not stop. Again thank you for sharing your personal testimony today. May God be glorified and honored in our lives every day in all of our challenges. Love, Lola Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2012 17:06:13 +0000 To: davinci29@hotmail.com

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  20. Thank you so much, Lola!!! And thank you for sharing with me!!!
    God has really blessed me by putting such caring people into my life!!!

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  21. HUGS Stacy!! You know I love you and will be there to support you (as much as I can 3+ hours away). Praying this flare up passes quickly for you! Don't let it get you down, you'll get to those things you want to do when you can.

    You have 5 kids that could and SHOULD be helping out, make them do it, like you told me to do! I followed your advice and I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders (who knew just making someone else do the stupid dishes would be so freeing?).

    Your fabric won't disintegrate in a week's time, and your sewing machine is probably grateful for the reprieve, lol!

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  22. LOL! THANK YOU, Eileen!!!! I love you, too!!
    And you are right! I should follow my own advice! LOL
    And I think I will set them up to clean the house tomorrow!!!!!!!!;)

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  23. Stacy, I am on my way out this morning, but stopped to read your post. I don't have time to fully express my thoughts, but wanted to jot a quick note to say that my heart is full for you.
    Far from being depressing, your post is actually inpiring for it's courage, strength and faith.
    I'm sorry you're having a bad stretch, I know about pain as I live with someone who suffers chonic pain, and I feel for you. Hang in there girl, and I hope you feel better soon. Take care and be strong knowing that your sewing friends are pulling for you. :)

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  24. Thank you SO much, Kerri!!!
    I want you to know that your words mean so much to me. More than I could ever say.
    THANK YOU!!!

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  25. Stacy,
    Hope your feeling better.. Sending prayers for you .. Hugs!!

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  26. I would just like to say that I too have Fibro and I know exactly what you are going through. I have come to the realization that I cannot do the things I used to do either. I am OCD too so that adds to my Craziness. There are days that I just cry all day because I look around and I WANT to do everything and think that I can, then I start and the fatigue sets in, the pain in the joints and shoulders and arms start and its off to bed. I feel that the bed has become my prison. Even sitting at the sewing machine sends me to the couch for a nap somedays.
    We just have to realize that we aren't the person we were before this debilitating disease and grasp it and do what we can do.
    Keep on keeping on!!! You are doing great.

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    1. HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!!
      You're right, even though we don't want to admit that we are different, there's no getting past it. We ARE different. We have to pace ourselves to do what most people take for granted.
      I am going through a cycle of very debilitating fatigue. It's been AWFUL!!!!

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