Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home . . .
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/ Confessions of a part-time working mom
http://aworkingmomswhoas.com/ A Working Mom’s “Whoas”’
http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com Evil Joy Speaks
http://xcartwight.blogspot.com Go Momma!
http://www.juiceboxconfession.com Juicebox Confession
http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com Searching for Sanity
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com Spatulas on Parade
http://www.smalltalkmama.com Small Talk Mama
If I could spend a day with my fifteen year old self I would......
It was submitted by:
That is me at 15. This is the only picture I have of myself at that age but it's the perfect one. I have on my very favorite t-shirt (Guns N Roses) and my very favorite jeans.
I have been thinking long and hard about this post ever since I received my prompt. Do I tell it like it was? Do I just make something up? Will I tick off my family if I DO tell it the way it was?
Well, here it goes, regardless.
I was such a mess at 15. My life was a mess at 15. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control.
My mom was an alcoholic. My dad was pretty much absent and had just remarried. I was supposed to have been in the wedding but no one showed up to get me. I didn't even get a phone call saying they couldn't come. Just me sitting with my bags packed, waiting.
And people wondered why my head wasn't on straight. I was made to feel as if there was something tragically wrong with me because of the way I reacted to my situation in life. Yes, I was wild. Yes, I was out of control. I was 15 and in situations no one should ever have to go through. No one, no matter what age.
So, what would I do if I spent the day with my 15 year old self? I would hug me. And hug me and hug me. I would tell me that everything was really and truly going to be OK. That I would make it out with my sanity intact. That even though it didn't feel that way at the time, there really were people that loved and cared about me. That I mattered. That my parents were human and also dealing with issues. I don't believe either of them ever meant to hurt me. I know now that they both loved me, they just couldn't see past their own issues. I would tell my 15 year old self to cut them some slack.
Oh, my gosh... Am I really going to post this? I don't know..... I just don't know....
I guess I could make up some drivel about how much fun I would have with my 15 year old self.... But that wouldn't be true. That wouldn't be me.
So that part of me that is still 15, that still feels that hurt -
I love you. You matter.
Oh, gosh! I think I'm actually going to hit the schedule button.