Yep. You read that right. I am selling The Hubby.... Really, it's either that or do him bodily harm. Let me tell you what he did to me today and then you tell me what I ought to do....
The girls and I had not been home from church for very long when The Hubby takes his gun outside. This is a normal occurrence so I didn't think anything about it. The next thing I know I hear a shot. Again, a normal occurrence. Deanna goes into the kitchen and I hear her yell, "Daddy is on the ground!" Scared out of my mind I run out the door. I see him propped up on his arm. I'm yelling and asking him if he's OK and what happened??? When I get to him I see blood ALL OVER his stomach. It looks like it's just everywhere! I screamed, "OH MY GOD! I'm getting the ambulance!!" (I NEVER take the Lord's name in vain. I was calling out to Him.) I start running toward the house with all kinds of scary things going through my mind when I hear The Hubby calling my name. He gets up and walks toward me. It was a joke. A JOKE!!! Yes.... A FREAKING JOKE! When I realize he is OK that's when I break down and start sobbing. I could now gleefully shoot him myself!!! And Deanna was in on it.
Last night he went to Walmart and bought a big jug of fake blood. Let me tell you, it's the best fake blood I have ever seen. Scared me to death. I was convinced that he was going to bleed to death!
Oh, and now he's worried that he may have stained his jeans. Sorry, but I can't dredge up any sympathy for that. I am still way beyond mad at him.
And of course, he and Deanna think it's just the funniest thing they have ever seen. GRRRRR!!!!!!!! Talking about they wish they had filmed it. Maybe they should have, it would have been evidence for my defense!!!! ARGH!!!!!
I can't think of a punishment harsh enough for the two of them!!!
I would have had a heart attack and died. They would have had to have put "just kidding" on my tombstone.
ReplyDeleteI know!!!!! His friend tried to tell him that could give me a heart attack!!!
ReplyDeleteAt least I know I won't freeze up in an emergency!
Still wanna kill him.... ARGH!!!
Oh I do believe there would be something a little extra in his dinner tomorrow night. :))))
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteAnymore blood left? ......She who laughs last....Just saying
ReplyDeleteLOL! There is a lot of it left, apparently a little goes a LONG way. But I would never be able to pull it off. SIGH.. And he knows this. :/
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, that's horrible!! I read that to my hubby and, of course, he thought it was funny... must be a guy thing!
ReplyDeleteSounds a lot like last years prank they did to you!!!!
ReplyDeleteBest is just wait, leave them guessing. Hmmmmm Oh ya , every now and then Smirk when looking at them!!!!
Has he ever heard of the Little Boy Who Called "Wolf"?
ReplyDeleteROFLOL!!! PERFECT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, he said he wouldn't do THAT particular thing again, JIC..... GRRR!
ReplyDeleteOh Stacy... I so understand ,why he is for sale sooooooooo cheap..lol
ReplyDeleteI know that scared you to death.. I just know that he and Deanna
have an "unexpected something" awaiting them.. and it might take
you awhile to find something that is perfect for them...hahahahhaa
If I were them.. I would be real careful about what I eat..escpecially
when Mama fixed it.hahahahha
I guess , he knows you love him.. Wow...what a way to prove it.lol
Sounds like you need to use the Brat bat. My hubby wouldn't even try such a thing, but
ReplyDeleteif he did, I don't think my bp could survive it. If it did, you can be sure He wouldn't survive it.
Sorry, but that was just plain mean.
I know!! He said he didn't expect me to react so badly when I found out it was a joke!
ReplyDeleteYep, it may take me a while to figure out the perfect revenge, but I will!!! LOL
THANK YOU, Lambie!! Send the Brat Bat and the Brat Bail Fund!!! I think I need them both!!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteWow -- you would have thought a lightning bolt would have cracked the sky to slay him where he stood!
ReplyDeleteOK -- I say you pack up and head to a hotell for a couple days with his credit card. Let him and his little accomplic figure it out on their own for a couple days without you. You enjoy long candle lit bubble baths with a music on low and a great book -- uninterrupted. Sleep in and order room service in bed... Not sure if this is more punishment for him or a making it up to you - but I like it! :)
I would have had a coronary! Now it is time to plot the revenge.
ReplyDeleteOh my! He's getting a gift with the doghouse. I see plotting in your future. Something really good to make his hair stand on end.
ReplyDeleteI may need some help!!! I am no good at this kind of thing! LOL
ReplyDeleteOOOOOOOMY - now you know you have ALL OF US ON YOUR SIDE w this! Fun is fun, pranks are fun but THIS IS OVER THE LINE.. & you can use this for AMMUNITION for ever so long u know that. Make the man pay! :^)
ReplyDeleteOH! MOST definitely!!!! (insert evil laugh here) I plan on getting the most out of this one!!!
ReplyDeleteEvery time he looked at me yesterday I would say, "Yes. I am still mad!" I plan on doing that today, tomorrow, well, for the near future! LOL
I would have killed my hubby if he did that to me!
ReplyDeleteThe thought did cross my mind.... LOL
ReplyDeleteThe fact that your man is still able to walk upright shows that you have the patience of JOB. I hate being frightened! I hope you're planning payback! Not heart attack worthy payback, but payback nonetheless :)
ReplyDeleteLOL!! I am working on it... Only problem is, I am NO good at that type of thing so it may take me a while to come up with something worthy! LOL
ReplyDeleteOOOOOH!!! That sounds good to ME!!!! Definitely!!!
ReplyDelete